An official website of the United States government
A .mil website belongs to an official U.S. Department of Defense organization in the United States.
A lock (lock ) or https:// means you’ve safely connected to the .mil website. Share sensitive information only on official, secure websites.

Active duty funeral: My experience

  • Published
  • By Airman 1st Class Sarah Woehl
  • 15th Operational Weather Squadron
SCOTT AIR FORCE BASE, Ill. --  Everyone is standing around the practice room, huddled into little groups. The tone is light right now, checking over uniforms, practicing routines we could perform with our eyes shut. Some of us have spoken to family members, some of us prefer not to. Then, "Let's go. It's time." The tone changes now, the straightening of shoulders, the last uniform checks, the first kick of nerves sets in. 

I'm on the flag folding team. There are six flag folders and 21 ceremonial guardsmen overall. We line up in the doorway of the room being used for the funeral. As we begin our march into the room, I'm nervous and have butterflies kicking around my stomach. I don't want to mess this up, and I run through the sequence in my head. This is the most intense funeral I have done since I have been on Honor Guard. This is for a young staff sergeant who should be at home with his family, watching TV or eating dinner. Instead, his friends and family are here, watching the Scott Honor Guard give our best military honors to a fallen comrade. 

We unfold the flag and pop it horizontal among the six of us. This is the signal for firing party. As 21 shots are fired into the air (three shots fired by seven ceremonial guardsmen), the family directly behind my back, not 10 feet away, begins to cry. My chest tightens as I hear it. Taps begins and the crying turns to sobbing, and I feel my eyes fill with tears and my vision blurs. As Taps comes to an end, it's our turn. I focus on what I need to do. I block out everything except the toss and fold of the flag. Each step is performed with snap and confidence by all six members. The flag is folded and handed to the NCOIC. Three pre-folded flags are handed down the line to us, and we turn to present to the family. I present the flag to this young man's sister, who looks to be about 15. She has a wadded tissue in her hand. I kneel down to present the flag. To her right are the parents, who are both wiping tears off and thanking us quietly. I give her my condolences and stand. As we salute the flags, the father salutes us back, hiding his face behind his hand as tears stream down his cheeks. 

We turn to leave the room and once we are back into the practice room we started in, there is silence among my teammates. It all hits me at once, and I start to cry softly. Grief. It's a hard emotion, and I can't imagine the amount of it in the room we just left.
It's such an honor to be there for the family, no matter how emotional it gets. To have them thank us, even during their hardest day, lets us know how meaningful our job is. I left with a heavy heart thinking about the loss, but also a sense of pride that we were there to represent the Air Force. We take care of our own, even through death.