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Practice, practice, practice there’s always room for improvement

  • Published
  • By Airman 1st Class Amber Kelly-Woodward
  • 375th Airlift Wing Public Affairs
SCOTT AIR FORCE BASE, Ill. --  Just as every sports team require practice if they want to be any good, so does a marriage. Every relationship requires work and can always be improved. 

The Scott Chapel held "Building a Strong Marriage Team" for the second time, which is the first session of three in the Marriage Enrichment Program, at the National Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows in Belleville, Ill., Oct. 9. 

"We've always had a good relationship, but sometimes we don't communicate very well so I thought it would be good to hear another opinion," said Senior Airman Danielle Gooch, 375th Medical Group medical technician, who has been married for about a year and a half. 

"We're always looking for ways to improve," added Airman Gooch's husband, Airman 1st Class Zack Gooch, Air Mobility Command headquarters A1 management level review. 

The day began at 9 a.m. with Chaplain (Capt.) Neely Brown, 375th Airlift Wing Reserve chaplain, with an analysis of different personalities. Couples learned what their personality types were by circling which characteristics most resembled them. Chaplain Brown made use of worksheets, PowerPoint, videos and conversation throughout the day. 

The personality categories were lion, beaver, otter and Golden Retriever. Some couples were exactly the same while others were complete opposite, but they each had their advantages and disadvantages. 

While lions, for example, are the type of people who get things done fast and right away, they can also be very direct when communicating and cause a strain in a relationship. 

Beavers also get things done, but are perfectionists and can take a very long time to get something done. 

Otters are very fun and exciting people, but can sometimes be too emotional. 

Lastly, Golden Retrievers always want everybody to be happy, but they sometimes sacrifice what they want in doing so. 

"The personality test was dead-on," said Airman Z. Gooch. "It put a different perspective on traits that were already there, like some things that I dislike are also advantages that I should appreciate." 

Afterward, couples wrote letters to each other about characteristics that they do not necessarily like, but accept and characteristics that they appreciate about each other. 

The next thing the group learned after lunch was the neighbor rule. Chaplain Brown explained that couples should treat their spouses as they treat their neighbors. In some cases, if a spouse was to ask their neighbor something and they said no it would be okay, but if their spouse were to say no, it would not be okay. The standard should be the same. 

Couples also learned that they are 100 percent responsible for their life journey, 0 percent responsible for their spouse's life journey and 100 percent responsible their marriage journey. Many times a spouse takes responsibility for things such as their spouse's weight loss, but that is not their responsibility. A spouse should focus on themselves and the marriage. 

Another thing couples learned was their love language. There are five different languages. Love languages identify what makes a person feel loved. The first love language is through words love, the second is through receiving gifts, the third language is act of service, the fourth is through physical touch and the fifth is through praise. Some couples may be opposite while others are exactly the same. The best way to figure out a love language is to observe what the other person does to others that they love. 

Lastly couples learned about the importance of having a date night to connect in the midst of all their other obligations at least once a week. 

"I learned useful information to improve my marriage, today made things come into focus for being a good team," said Lisa Evans, a wife of eight years. 

The day concluded at about 2 p.m. The workshop had about 20 people in attendance. Many of the participants were married, and their years of marriage ranged. There were also people who attended without their spouse. The lessons learned can be applied to any relationship even those with co-workers and friends. 

The next two sessions will be the second part of the Marriage Enrichment Program, "A Peacekeeping Mission," and will focus more on marriage in the military. They will be held Nov. 13 and Dec. 11. Couples interested did not need to attend the first session to attend the second session. 

For more information, contact the Chapel at 256-3303.