Domestic violence: You don’t have to take it, you don’t have to use it Published Oct. 16, 2008 By Airman 1st Class Amber Kelly-Woodward 375th Airlift Wing Public Affairs SCOTT AIR FORCE BASE, Ill. -- The Family Advocacy Program on base is thought to be a place for maltreatment, but it is also a place for prevention. Prevention programs include parenting classes, relationship enhancement, violence prevention, counseling services, fatherhood initiatives and special programs and services such as Domestic Violence Awareness Month which is ongoing through the month of October. "Domestic violence includes threats, pushing, punching, slapping, choking, sexual assaults, assaults with weapons and block," said Sonya Herron, 375th Medical Operations Squadron Family Advocacy Program outreach manager. "It is any physical, emotional or sexual maltreatment. Domestic violence causes more injuries that require treatment than rape, auto accidents and muggings combined. More than 40 percent of women who are murdered are killed by their husbands or boyfriends. "Domestic violence is also one of the most unreported crimes," said Ms. Herron. According to Department of Defense Instruction 64001.2 and Air Force Instruction 40-301, all active duty members and DoD civilian employees are mandated to report suspected incidents of family maltreatment. Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, race, religion and education and income levels. Although 95 percent of domestic violence victims are women, men can also be mistreated. Some warning signs of a person conducting domestic violence are: - Refusing to allow their spouse to be with friends of family. - Constantly checking up on spouse when they are out or telling them where to go. - Constant humiliation in front of others. - Making threats or acting in ways to intimidate, coerce, force or terrorize spouse. - Controlling all finances, forcing spouse to account for everything spent or taking spouse's money. - Preventing spouse from getting/keeping a job or from going to school. - Threatening to harm or kidnap their children. - Causing fear by using looks, actions or gestures. - Threatening or carrying out threats to harm children, family, friends or pets. - Destroying personal property or throwing things at spouse. - Forcing spouse to have sex or engage in sexual acts that they do not want. - Preventing spouse from taking medications or getting medical care. - Denying spouse access to food, fluids or sleep. Domestic violence also includes violence on children. Some warning signs that children may be undergoing domestic violence are: - Children have extended or frequent unjustified absences from school. - Children are not provided with medically necessary health care. - Children have unexplained or frequent bruises or welts, bite marks, pinch marks or finger tip marks. - Children have injuries in various stages of healing. - Children are forced to engage in sex or sexual acts. All victims may show feelings of guilt, depression, lack of self-esteem, frequent illnesses, poor personal hygiene, regression in developmental tasks, isolation or excessive social involvement to avoid home. People who initiate domestic violence can seem normal in other relationships. Also, alcohol does not cause battering and therefore is not an excuse. Battering is a learned behavior, not a mental illness. Every agency on base has reporting methods for domestic violence and reports can be made anonymously. Another way to help a victim of domestic violence is to develop a safety plan which consists of a safe place to go when their spouse becomes abusive and a suitcase with clothes, personal items, money, social security cards, bank books, the children's birth certificates and school records and other important documents. The Family Advocacy Program is also hosting "Transforming Trials and Hurts into Life Changing Benefits," a lunch an learn session, Oct. 28, a Personal Items Drive for Women Victims of Domestic Violence at the Base Exchange Oct. 31, a Silent Witness Display at the Base Library and Hospital and a "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk" seminar on various days in November. To report domestic violence or for more information, contact the Family Advocacy Program at 256-7203. Also, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is (800) 733-SAFE (7233).