A non-domestic diva’s Thanksgiving misadventures Published Nov. 17, 2010 By Bekah Clark 375th Air Mobility Wing Public Affairs SCOTT AIR FORCE BASE, Ill. -- I am not a domestic diva. Despite my secret admiration for Martha Stewart (which I suppose is not so secret anymore), I simply do not have her domestic skills. Minus her need for perfection, and that whole insider trading thing, and plus her two adorable French bulldogs, Francesca and Sharkey, I want to be just like her--at least in the hospitality arena. My chocolate chip cookies and a love of hosting people are about all I bring to the table. If it's a multi-dish kind of meal you're looking for, you'll need to call someone else. I'm certainly capable of cooking all of the items in a meal. Getting them all hot and on the table at the same time--well, that's another discussion entirely. Despite my kitchen ineptness, I thought it would be worthwhile to take a shot at making a Thanksgiving turkey all by myself last year. So on Nov. 26, 2009 I donned my super cute apron and got to work. I was well-prepared. After multiple calls to my ever-patient Mom--seriously, she actually had to guide me to a can of pumpkin over the phone while I was in Wal-Mart--I had all of the ingredients and tools I needed for a modest but sufficient Thanksgiving meal. I started with the turkey, who my guests and I named Bartholomew--after all, I was about to have to get really personal with this cold, fleshy bird, he ought to have a name. I read the instructions and preheated my oven accordingly. And, once I got over having to stick my hand in the turkey's "cavity," I actually managed to make a pretty mean turkey. We can skip over the smoke alarm sounding, the mysterious case of the exploding biscuit and the fact that I wound up with mashed potato and gravy remnants on my ceiling--what's important here is that no one got hurt. Ultimately, the meal turned out pretty well and it provided a couple--ok, several--good laughs. As for this year, I opted to go home to Omaha where I will make sure I pay just as much, if not more attention, to what my mom is doing in the kitchen as I'm paying to football. In hopes that those Thanksgiving meal first-timers have a, shall we say, smoother meal experience than I had, I've included some tips in a timeline in that side bar to the right. Don't worry; these are from reputable cooking and food websites, not from the non-domestic diva. Happy Thanksgiving Team Scott! Thanksgiving meal tips and timeline Want your ceiling to remain mashed potato and gravy free? Follow these tips: Timing is everything! Be sure to read the instructions on the tag attached to your turkey or meat of your choice and follow the instructions; it'll tell you the cooking time and temps. Also pay attention to the cooking times and temps on all recipes or boxed items your making. Coming up with a plan on what needs to go in the oven and when is extremely beneficial. There's nothing wrong with boxed goods. It may not be like grandma made it, but they're usually still pretty good. More often than not, there are tips on the box to make the dish more unique by adding an extra ingredient or two. And when you're asked if it's homemade, of course it was! You made it at home, right? Make items the day before. Save time by making items that aren't expected to be warm the day before. It'll give you more time to prep the turkey or, can you believe it, spend time with family! Don't have a mom to call? Google it! There are tons of free recipes, tips and how-to's available online, many of which have consumer reviews that'll tell you if the recipe or tip was as good as it said it was. Did you light something on fire accidentally? Call 911, even if it was a small, totally extinguishable oven fire. And then, for you base residents, apologize to the 375th Civil Engineer Squadron Fire Department for making them work on Thanksgiving - giving them each a slice of your pie wouldn't hurt, either.